Thursday, December 18, 2008

{random} trying to stay focused

holidays are stressful. we all know that. we learned that when we were young, watching our mothers and grandmothers running around, getting their hair done, cooking the goose or fish or ham or potato latkes, baking, and fussing, and wrapping and writing. it's a stressful time...

i went to the doctor the other day. i cried. i don't know why. i started talking about how i can't really stay focused on anything right now...how it's affecting my job, my wedding...my life. she asked what i did for a living. i told her..and then i told her it would soon be ending (based on a contract that comes to a close in february). how will we survive? how will we pay for this wedding? will i be able to get a job? or will i have to wait tables 12 hours a day just to pay our rent? what are we going to do? i cried some more as i told her how i wanted to be a nurse...how i was in nursing school but had to drop out 2 months before graduating because i couldn't stay focused. because i had 2 jobs and was trying to go to clinicals and was getting only 3 hours of sleep a night. she's sending me to a behaviourist. she's says i'm stressed.

ya. i'm stressed. but aren't we all?

stress test:

The picture posted here has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at Loma Linda Medical Center.

Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study of a group revealed that in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins. The number of differences observed matches closely to the amount of stress the observer is experiencing.

Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may be experiencing stress.




2 comments:

D. Marie said...

I'm sorry to hear that you had to leave school because of stress and not being able to focus. Everyone has their own stress and stress levels that they just can't handle any more. And...I'm no doctor...but maybe your doctor believes that you've hit that level that you just can't handle any more. I think I was almost at the brink of that level myself today. And looking at the dolphins...I think I def hit that level...because thats a cow and a dolphin!!! I wish you luck with everything...and if need be and if allowed...push back your wedding date for more planning time or more time to save...ours isnt till 2010 so we can plan and save.

Erica said...

I wish I could give you a big hug. I know how overwhelming it can all be....I'm so, so sorry. It's hard when things are so tight and you don't want to have to scrounge just to live, much less when you are trying to start a life. But remember that the most important thing about the wedding is that the two of you are going to be getting married. Keep it small and simple and you can rock a wedding on the cheap. I know you can. And if that just doesn't work for you, then wait a little bit until you can really have everything the way you want it. If you know you won't be happy with any less, but you can't do any more right now...just wait a little bit.

It sounds to me like maybe you want a change...like your heart isn't in IT. Can you go back to school to try to finish up your nursing degree? Or whatever it is that you think you would enjoy now?

Did you feel better after you cried? Or worse? I think that would be really telling.